Bullies Beware

Bullying hurts. It can make you upset. It can make you so worried that you don't want to go to school. It can make you feel bad about yourself or feel that something is wrong with you.

Have you or someone you know ever experienced any of the following?

• Teasing
• Name calling
• Hitting
• Fighting
• Stealing your back pack
• Forcing you to give money
• Being ignored or left out
• Having fun at someone else's expense

What can you do about it?

• Tell! Talk about it with a teacher, your parents, an adult you trust. Some schools have anti-bullying programs that can help you.
• Keep a list or diary of what is happening to you.
• Ask your parents to visit the school and talk to your teacher about making it stop.

Do you ever see someone else being bullied? Maybe it's a friend of yours or just someone in your class. Don't ignore it. Here's what you can do:

• Tell a teacher or another adult.
• Don't join in and be a bully too.
• Don't get into a fight with the bully.
• Try to be a friend to the other person, even though it might be hard.

Don't give up.

The most important thing to remember is not to give up. The first solution you try might not work. So try another approach until you find one that works in your situation. There isn't one magic answer - but by talking to a friend or an adult, together you will find a solution.

Putting a stop to bullying

The summer months are an exciting time for children, filled with carefree days, family vacations and bike rides. While Calgary is a very safe city, it's important parents make sure that their children know some basic safety rules before they start exploring the neighborhood with their friends.

Discuss with your child rules and expectations about where they are allowed to play;

• always ask for permission before leaving the yard and say who they are with and where they are going
• never play in unsupervised areas, such as vacant lots, empty buildings, construction sites, riverbeds and creeks or in dark, wooded areas
• encourage your child to play in groups and maintain a buddy system so that no one goes anywhere alone
• get to know the kids your child is playing with -- it's a good idea to meet their parents and exchange contact information

Block Parent homes

Take a walk around your neighborhood with your family and locate the Block Parent homes in your community. A Block Parent home offers a safe place for anyone in a dangerous or frightening situation. If your child is bullied, lost, hurt or frightened by a stranger, they can run to a Block Parent for assistance.

Introduce your child to your neighbors and other safe adults they can go to for help. Point out potential hazards in the neighborhood, such as construction sites or wooded area.
 

What's your phone number?

Your child should know his or her full name, address and phone number, including the area code. Older children should also learn their parents' work, cell phone and pager numbers.

Teach your child how to use a pay phone to make both local and long distance calls. Your child should know to dial 9-1-1 to contact police, fire and EMS in an emergency, but they should also know that it should only be used in a true emergency.

Don't talk to strangers

Make sure your child knows never to talk to strangers or take anything from them. They should also know that they should never go anywhere with someone they don't know.

If a stranger tries to grab them, they should yell, kick and run away. If a car follows them, tell your child to turn and run in the opposite direction to the closest safe place, and stay in open areas. If possible they should get a description and license number of the stranger's vehicle.

Teaching your children these rules can give you peace of mind while they're playing outdoors this summer.

reference:  Calgary Police Service

Babysitting Safety Tips

The courses advise babysitters to get a list of the following information from parents, including:

• the address and telephone number where you can be reached,
• the time you plan to return,
• emergency phone numbers (police, fire, ambulance, Poison Centre and neighbor or family friend),
• your home address and telephone number, and
• the cross street or description of your house location.

The courses also advise parents to take the babysitter on a house tour to discuss things such as:

• how to lock the doors and windows,
• how the burglar alarms work and what could set them off,
• the fire plan,
• the location of and how to use the fire extinguisher and first aid kit, and
• the location of the smoke detectors and flash light

You may also wish to make a checklist of your own and have the babysitter tick off each task as it is completed. The checklist could include tasks such as:

• locking the windows and doors,
• turning the outside lights on after dark,
• placing the emergency contact information by the telephone, and
• closing the blinds and drawing the shades.

It's also important to discuss or role-play specific situations to ensure that your babysitter knows what do and is confident dealing with situations that may arise.

Ask your babysitter what they would do in the following situations. Then discuss what the Calgary Police Service and St. John Ambulance advise babysitters to do:

• If someone is at the door: Use the peephole, or talk through the door, to see who is there. Never open the door and never tell anyone you are babysitting. Speak through the door. Say the parents are busy and offer to take a message. If the person will not leave, call 9-1-1.
• If someone calls: Offer to take a message. Don't tell the caller that you are alone. Hang up if the caller becomes a nuisance and call the police if you feel threatened.
• If you hear suspicious noises or activity: Call the police at 9-1-1.
• If you think there's a prowler outside: Make sure all windows and doors are locked. Reassure the children that everything will be all right. Call the police at 9-1-1.
• If there is a fire: Never attempt to put out the fire. Remain calm and leave the house immediately. Call 9-1-1 from a neighbor's house.

The most difficult task for many parents may be finding someone to care for your children. In addition to experience caring for children, parents may want to find someone who has completed a babysitting-training program. These courses teach skills such as how to play with children and how to care for infants. Courses also teach basic first aid, how to keep children safe and how to react in an emergency.

Reference:  Calgary Police Service

Family Violence

You are not alone

Nearly one-quarter of all violent crimes in Canada are committed by a family member of the victim (Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, 2002). Family violence happens when a family member tries to control another person by using threats, intimidation or emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Victims of family violence include spouses, dating and common-law partners, people in same-sex relationships, children and teens, people with disabilities and older adults. 

If you are in an abusive relationship, the most important thing to know is that you are not alone and you do not deserve to be abused. Family violence is a serious social issue and some forms are criminal. There is help to protect you and anyone affected by the abuse, including children.

Safety and privacy

An abuser can track your Internet activities, including websites you have visited. There are ways to cover your tracks online, but you need to be careful. If your abuser is comfortable with computers and sees that you have deleted files, he or she may get angry or suspicious. If this is a possibility, try to use a different computer, like one at the library, work or a friend’s house.

Web browsers, like Internet Explorer and Netscape, keep a list of the most recent web sites you have visited in the history file. You can look at your own history by clicking on the history button on your toolbar.

Computers also have cache files. The cache automatically saves web pages and graphics. Anyone who looks at the cache file on your computer can see what information you have looked at recently.
 

How to cover your tracks online

You can clear your cache and history files so your computer doesn’t keep a list of the sites you have visited.

If you are using Internet Explorer

To clear history files:
1. Click on Tools on the toolbar at the top of the screen.
2. Select Internet Options.
3. In General, under Temporary Internet Files, click Settings.
4. Select View Files, highlight all the files shown, then hit Delete.
5. In General, under History, select Clear History.

To clear cache files:
1. Click on Tools on the toolbar at the top of the screen.
2. Select Internet Options.
3. In General, under Temporary Internet Files, click Delete Files. If asked, check the box to delete all offline content.

If you are using Netscape

To clear history files:
1. Click Edit on the toolbar at the top of the screen.
2. Select Preferences.
3. In the History section, click Clear History and Clear Location Bar History.
4. Click OK.

To clear cache files:
1. Click Edit on the toolbar at the top of the screen.
2. Select Preferences.
3. Click Advanced.
4. Click Cache.
5. Click Clear Memory Cache.
6. Click Clear Disk Cache.
7. Click OK.

What is abuse?

Abuse is a pattern of controlling behaviour. In families, an abusive person can use many tactics to gain power over another family member. Examples include:

• Damaging personal property
• Name-calling and other forms of verbal and emotional abuse
• Hitting, punching, kicking and other forms of physical abuse
• Sexual abuse 
• Neglect
• Forced confinement 
• Stalking 
• Ridiculing a person’s religious beliefs
• Shaking a baby 

Who are the victims?

Victims of abuse in families can include:

• Spouses
• Dating and common-law partners
• People in same-sex and relationships
• Children and youth
• People with disabilities
• Older adults and elders

Where to go for help

Locate a shelter

Women's shelters offer resources and services to help people dealing with abuse. Even if you do not plan to stay in a shelter, you can call your local shelter for information about family violence and resources and services in your community. For more information on shelters, visit the Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters. To locate the shelter nearest you, call toll-free 1-866-331-3933.  

Shelter List.

How to Stay Safe

If you are in an abusive relationship, there are several things you should do.

• Talk to someone you trust like a friend, family member, doctor or other professional.
   
• Create a safety plan so you know what to do if you need to leave an abusive situation. The plan should include who to call, where to go, how to get there and what to bring with you. You should also have a back-up plan in case things do not go the way you expect.
• Reference:  Government of Alberta
   
• Keep these tips in mind when planning to leave an abusive partner:

  Before you leave…
  Get help to make a plan.
  Create a code word.
  Document your abuse.
  Pack an emergency bag.
  
  Document your abuse by…
  Keeping a journal.
  Seeing a doctor.
  Filing a police report.
  Taking photos.
  
  Pack an emergency bag with…
  Money
  Your checkbook and bank info
  Credit cards
  Identification for you and your children
  Car keys
  Court papers
  Medications
  
  After you leave…
  Tell family and friends.
  Get an order of protection.
  Put 911 on speed dial.
  Change your cell phone number.
  Change your daily routine.
  Avoid being alone.
  Find a safe place to stay.

  (reference:  The Oprah Winfrey Show)

   

• Learn about the laws that protect people from family violence. Emergency protection orders, restraining orders and peace bonds are some of the legal ways to stop an abuser from contacting someone.
  
   
• Find out about resources and services in your community to help people affected by family violence and abuse.

You should NOT confront a violent person. It could be dangerous. Leave and call for help.

What to tell your children

If you have children, you must keep them safe at all times. To ensure their safety, you need to talk to them about what is going on. Don’t try to pretend it’s not happening.

• Make sure children know that even though the adults in their home do not get along, the children are not to blame and the abuse is not their fault.
  
   
• Tell your children exactly what they should do in an emergency. If something does happen, they need to be prepared. Don't scare them but be clear about what they should do. Should they go to a friend or neighbor's house and wait for you? Should they call 911? Having a plan can make a huge difference in an emergency situation.

Safety planning for someone involved in an abusive relationship is a necessary and important step. Planning can begin while you're still with your abuser or after the relationship has ended. While still in an abusive relationship, your safety is of primary importance.

Reference:  Government of Alberta

Family Encouragement

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."

Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?"

"Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."

Accounting Interview

Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"

"22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."

Afternoon Rounds

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I often take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

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E-Mail:  CMR Canada

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