InterventionsSpecialCancer2003

CMR Canada Employee and Family Assistance Programs
Serving Canadians for 21 Years

DELIVERY LOCATIONS; Calgary - Head Office; Camrose; Drayton Valley; Edmonton; Edson; Grande Prairie; High Prairie; Hinton; Lac La Biche; Lethbridge; Medicine Hat; Peace River; Red Deer

Rocky Mtn. House

Spruce Grove; St. Paul; Whitecourt

CMR Canada - Employee and Family Assistance Programs

Head Office: Suite 3500, Bow Valley Square 2, 205 - 5 Avenue SW, Calgary, Alberta T2P2V7
Telephone (403) 263-2200 Fax (403) 256-8291 E-mail: cmr@cmrcanada.ca

TIPS TO HELP RELATE TO SOMEONE WHO HAS CANCER

Learning more about cancer can help a person who has the disease. It can also help you.

When talking to someone who has cancer, listen to them with your ears, and listen to them with your heart. A young girl with cancer had this request: “When you look at me, don't think of me as a patient or as a case of leukemia. Think of me as a person. As the person you knew before I became ill.”

Let them be the leader. When they want to talk, listen. Make sure you listen to how they talk, not just what they say. Try to hear what they mean but may not be able to say.

Try not to get tense when there is silence between you. Silence can help people pull their thoughts together. Talking all the time can be words, words and more words, without real meaning. Do not feel you have to say something all the time.

People pick things up from your tone of voice or the way your face looks. Try to keep your eyes on the person you are talking to. This shows you are being honest and open. Touching, smiling and looks of love show a person with cancer that, even if they are ill, they still mean as much to you.

People with cancer do not want to talk about their disease all the time. Try humour to help get their mind off the disease. It is human to laugh and enjoy life.

Involve the person with cancer in activities that they always liked doing. If you used to play cards with them – play cards! If you went to the movies – go to a movie!

Cancer and cancer treatment can make people weak. Try to find new ways to do things. If the person with cancer can't go to a movie because they are in a wheelchair, rent a video. If they can't go out to get their hair cut, invite the barber or hairdresser to the house.

You cannot ignore the effects of cancer but you can find new ways to do the things the person enjoys. You can boost their spirits by visiting. You can ask friends to drop by for a visit or call on the phone. Sharing time with the person is one of the best ways to make them feel part of life.

Source: Canadian Cancer Society, Telephone (403) 228-4487, Email info@cancer.ab.ca

COPING AT WORK WITH ILLNESS

If the tragedy of a colleague or co-worker suddenly dying or falling seriously ill strikes there are ways to cope with the grief and shock you might feel:

	Anticipate intense feelings such as guilt, confusion, depression, fear and anger, upon learning that a co-worker may die or has died. A normal aspect of grief is the onset of intense emotions and questions about your own safety and mortality. The tragedy and your thoughts and emotions about it may motivate you to stop smoking, start exercising or get a checkup at the doctor’s office.
	Remember your responsibility to your employer and don’t fail to do your job. Sadness may impair your effectiveness at work, but seek help from friends, a therapist or your supervisor who could help put perspective on the situation.
	Seek out your co-workers to receive and give help. They may have some ideas on coping, or might need the insights you can bring through your own grieving process. It is important to talk about the emotions you are feeling and not deny them as they may reappear later in harmful and inappropriate ways. There is no set pattern for the grieving process, everyone will cope in their own way.
	Don’t couple the absence of the stricken co-worker with negative thoughts about the workload. Try to remember the lessons and insights you gained while working with the person. Employees often pull together with new purpose at times like these.

Source: Gail Byrnes, Chartered Psychologist, Calgary, Alberta

Note: This article presents only one perspective on a body of information on the subject and is not intended to be definitive. CMR Canada recommends you seek additional perspectives on the subject.

Your Employee and Family Assistance Program

Purpose: The EFAP assists you and your family resolve personal problems and maintain healthy and productive lives.

Counselling Services Provided

Aging Parents Bereavement Career Issues

Emotional Problems Family Problems Harassment

Health Concerns Marriage Preparation Marital Problems

Physical or Sexual Abuse Relationship Issues Single Parenting

Stress Substance Abuse Addictions

Trauma

How do I arrange for counselling and/or get more information?

Simply phone CMR Canada at 403-263-2200 in Calgary, or 1-800-567-9953 from elsewhere.

Or, click on Request for Service.

Or, e-mail CMR Canada.

All arrangements will be made for you.

Permission is not needed to use the EFAP. It is voluntary and strictly confidential.

Your Confidentiality is Guaranteed

CMR Canada

PROFILE

CMR Canada, a national EFAP management firm founded in Alberta in 1990, delivers programs and services that enhance the health and performance capability of individuals and organizations. The firm delivers services to individuals plus their families in organizations located throughout Alberta - Municipal Governments, Hospitals, Unions, Universities, and Corporations and the General Public.

Interventions, the EFAP Journal of CMR Canada, is available to clients without cost.

CMR's organization is simple, efficient, and highly effective leaving the majority of resources, financial and human, to provide service to clients and their families. The firm has extensive experience in designing, implementing, resourcing, evaluating, and managing Assistance Programs.

CMR has an unlimited supply of qualified professionals to engage as needed. Professionals are partnered or on contract to CMR. Included are Psychologists, Registered Social Workers, Family Therapists, Crisis Counsellors, Career Counsellors, and Certified Human Resource Professionals.

Working principles: keep the business small; deliver extraordinary personal service; keep the costs low. This highly efficient and effective business model allows CMR to deliver high quality programs and services at lower cost with increased accountability - and select the most experienced and capable professionals.

To request more information or a counsellor, click on Request for Service.

CMR Canada - Employee and Family Assistance Programs

Head Office
Suite 3500, Bow Valley Square 2
205 - 5 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta T2P2V7
Telephone (403)263-2200 in Calgary, or
1-800-567-9953 from elsewhere
Fax (403)256-8291
E-Mail:  CMR Canada

Alberta Locations

Athabasca, Barrhead, Calgary, Camrose, Drayton Valley, Edmonton, Edson, Fort McMurray, High Prairie, Hinton, Jasper, Grande Prairie, Lac La Biche, Lethbridge, Lloydminster, Medicine Hat, Peace River, Pincher Creek, Red Deer, St. Paul , Wainwright