CMR Canada  Employee and Family Assistance Programs 
Serving Canadians for 21 Years
 

 DELIVERY                   LOCATIONS                 
 
 Calgary - Head Office
 Camrose
 Drayton Valley
 Edmonton
 Edson
 Grande Prairie
 High Prairie
 Hinton
 Lac La Biche
 Lethbridge
 Medicine Hat
 Peace River
 Red Deer
 Rocky Mtn. House
 Spruce Grove
 St. Paul
 Whitecourt
 

 



CMR Canada - Employee and Family Assistance Programs

Head Office:  Suite 600, Bow Valley Square 4, 250 - 6 Avenue SW, Calgary, Alberta   T2P3H7
Telephone (403) 263-2200  Fax (403) 256-8291  E-mail:  cmr@cmrcanada.ca

April 2000

Note: This article presents only one perspective on a body of information on the subject and is not intended to be definitive. CMR Canada recommends you seek additional perspectives on the subject.

 

The Family

Conflict Between Parents and Teenagers

Teenagers today face a different world than their parents did at their age. Change is rapid in an increasingly complex and impersonal society. Alcohol and drugs are easily available and AIDS, violence and uncertain job prospects add to the stress level.

Unfortunately, this happens to teenagers in a family just when parents begin to face the issues and pressures of mid-life. While teens are thinking of the time and opportunities ahead, parents are thinking about the remaining time and opportunities which are diminishing.

Teens are struggling towards independence and self-control as they gradually acquire more personal power while their parents are realizing and confronting their own limitations. No wonder power struggles often ensue. With the added impact of the emotional turmoil which can accompany physiological and sexual maturation, these power struggles can become very intense.

bulletDo focus on the behaviour, not the person.
bulletDo think ahead to what you will say and how you will say it.
bulletDo keep your messages clear and concise.
bulletDo stick to one issue at a time.
bulletDon't argue with the way your teen sees things. Instead, state your own case and speak from that.
bulletDon't talk down to your teenager. There's nothing more irritating than a condescending tone.
bulletDon't lecture or preach. This only provokes hostility.
bulletDon't set limits you can't enforce.

Establishing Rules

With children, parents bear almost all of the burden of establishing and enforcing rules. With teenagers, the process becomes more shared through the process of negotiation. Negotiating contributes to the development of self-control, self-discipline, responsibility and good judgment. Successful teen-parent negotiation depends on three things:

bulletInvolving teenagers in the process of making rules, setting limits and reaching decisions,
bulletKeeping calm and rational even when emotions run high and especially controlling anger,
bulletUsing this problem-solving method:
bulletidentify the issue for negotiation,
bulletbrainstorm solutions,
bulletevaluate and narrow down alternatives,
bulletmake an agreement, and
bulletevaluate the outcome.

Their Friends

Parents love and care about their kids and want to help them stay out of trouble. Parenting of teenagers is especially difficult because teenagers take more risks and are more likely to endanger themselves. This is because teenagers are establishing their own identities and values which may differ from the family values. Relationships are central in teenagers' lives and are intensely felt. There is also a lot of experimentation and social adventuring that goes along with this process of individuation.

bulletIn general, unless a peer group is promoting self-destructive or criminal behaviour, parents should accept the choices children make for friends in spite of clothing, hair and other aspects of appearance or any other differences in values, socio-economic status, or other characteristics.
bulletApproval amongst peers is a very important developmental milestone. If parents engage in a prolonged or intense power struggle over choice of friends, children may become alienated from the family and at greater risk of making self-destructive choices.

Young people can face serious issues with relationships when the changes of puberty begin to add issues of sexuality and sexual attraction to the equation. At this point, social status, reputation, gender role identification and many other complex social behaviours begin to factor into relationships. Kids Help Phone counsellors and/or CMR Canada can help children, youth and families deal with issues around relationships at any age and any level of difficulty.

Health

Laughter and Our Health

For hundreds of years, it has been acknowledged that "Laughter is the best Medicine". Breakthrough medical research is shedding new light on the physiological beneficial effects of humor on health. A sense of humor can come in handy, whether it's for dealing with an illness, the pressures of daily living, stress, coping at work even, humor can dramatically change the quality and outlook of our lives.

Humor is an easy way to get in touch with your feelings, and control them in difficult situations.

But you must know that laughter is not the same as humor. Laughter is simply the physiological response to humor.

Laughing makes us feel good for a reason. The physiological effects on our body do some pretty amazing stunts. For instance:

bulletLaughter appears to reduce levels of certain stress hormones, and growth hormone.
bulletLaughter provides a safety valve that shuts off the flow of stress hormones and the fight-or-flight compounds that comes into action in times of stress, rage or hostility.
bulletStress hormones suppress the immune system, increase the number of platelets (which can cause obstructions in arteries), and raise blood pressure.
bulletLaughter boosts the Immune System. When in a state of mirth, natural killer cells that destroy tumors and viruses increase, as do Gamma-interferon (a disease fighting protein), T-cells, which are a vital part of the immune response, and B-cells, which make disease-destroying antibodies.
bulletIt also increases the concentration of salivary immunoglobulin A, which defends against the entry of infectious organisms through the respiratory tract.
bulletLaughter basically brings balance to all the components of the immune system.
bulletBlood Pressure is lowered, and there is an increase in vascular blood flow, and an increase in oxygenation of the blood which further assists healing.
bulletLaughter may lead to hiccupping and coughing, which will clear the respiratory tract by dislodging mucus plugs.
bulletLaughter also gives your diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory and facial, leg and back muscles a workout.

So basically laughter is an all over body workout. You can have fun, keep fit, and stay healthy in one easy step! Just Laugh!

There also has been some belief that laughter may help prevent some life-threatening diseases such as heart disease. Anger and fear, are two common emotions, which are frequently responsible for the cause of heart attacks.

Do you often feel exhausted after a bout of contagious giggling? This is because you have just had an aerobic workout.

Women's Bumper Sticker

"Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog."

Note: This article presents only one perspective on a body of information on the subject and is not intended to be definitive.  CMR Canada recommends you seek additional perspectives on the subject.

For more information on this and other subjects go to Interventions Archive.  The EFAP assists you and your family resolve personal problems and maintain healthy and productive lives. 

Counselling Services Provided
Aging Parents Bereavement Career Issues
Emotional Problems Family Problems Harassment
Health Concerns Marriage Preparation Marital Problems
Physical or Sexual Abuse Relationship Issues Single Parenting
Stress Substance Abuse Addictions
Trauma    

 How do I arrange for counselling and/or get more information?
bulletSimply phone CMR Canada at 403-263-2200 in Calgary, or 1-800-567-9953 from elsewhere.
bulletOr, click on Request for Service
bulletOr, e-mail CMRCanada.  
bulletAll arrangements will be made for you.
bulletPermission is not needed to use the EFAP.  It is voluntary and strictly confidential. 

Your Confidentiality is Guaranteed

CMR Canada

PROFILE

CMR Canada, a national EFAP management firm founded in Alberta in 1990, delivers programs and services that enhance the health and performance capability of individuals and organizations.  The firm delivers services to individuals plus their families in organizations located throughout Alberta - Municipal Governments, Hospitals, Unions,  Universities, and Corporations and the General Public.

Interventions, the EFAP Journal of CMR Canada, is available to clients without cost.  

CMR's organization is simple, efficient, and highly effective leaving the majority of resources, financial and human, to provide service to clients and their families. The firm has extensive experience in designing, implementing, resourcing, evaluating, and managing  Assistance Programs.

CMR has an unlimited supply of qualified professionals to engage as needed. Professionals are partnered or on contract to CMR. Included are Psychologists, Registered Social Workers, Family Therapists, Crisis Counsellors,  Career Counsellors, and Certified Human Resource Professionals.

Working principles:  keep the business small; deliver extraordinary personal service; keep the costs low.  This highly efficient and effective business model allows CMR to deliver high quality programs and services at lower cost with increased accountability - and select the most experienced and capable professionals. 

To request more information or a counsellor, click on  Request for Service

CMR Canada - Employee and Family Assistance Programs

Head Office
Suite 3500, Bow Valley Square 2
205 - 5 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta T2P2V7
Telephone (403)263-2200 in Calgary, or
1-800-567-9953 from elsewhere
Fax (403)256-8291
E-Mail:  CMR Canada
Alberta Locations

Athabasca,  Barrhead, Calgary,  Camrose,  Drayton Valley,  Edmonton,  Edson,  Fort McMurray,  High Prairie,  Hinton,  Jasper,  Grande Prairie,  Lac La Biche,  Lethbridge,  Lloydminster, Medicine Hat,  Peace River, Pincher Creek,  Red Deer,  St. Paul , Wainwright

Interventions® is a copyright publication of CMR Canada - Employee and Family Assistance Programs